I’m Confused

Me and my wife bought a house, and we are moving in around August. Because we are shifting much further away from my work place, I was thinking to buy a car. So I came up with a 5 year financial plan to make sure we are able to afford it and not go bankrupt. 

I have been studying all the loans that we are getting – mortgage loan, renovation loan, mother-in-law loan (don’t judge me! My own dad was not willing to loan me anything for the downpayment even though he has a few properties in the neighbouring country!), and finally car loan. 

I have been studying, and calculating, and studying, and calculating, for about a month now and have ensured that we can afford a 2nd hand car. But everytime I brought this up for discussion, she would say she wants a car, but don’t want us to buy it so soon. Even after showing her the financial accounts, she still insists that we should only consider to get a car after we have shifted to the new house and settle each and every thing. OK, I gave in after a few discussion and never brought that up again. I can live without a car and it’s just not worth arguing over this issue.

But the thing that gets on my nerve is, every time she sees a nice car, she would say “Ooo…we should get this kind of car”. Or when she take uber/grab to office, she would say this car is good that car is comfy. Then, she will sendme articles of cars and all the promotions that are going on. Every time she brought it up, naturally I would tell her that we could afford it and could go and have a look at cars. After a few times, she got tensed up and annoyed.

Why bring it up when you are not planning to get it? I mean, why do you keep tempting me and then turning me off? The feeling I got is similar to the times when you touch me intimately, but then you are not in the mood for sex. No no…I don’t force sex on you, but it’s just the vibe you are giving. When I touch you the same way you did, you would hit me and say not in the mood for sex. Why can you sense that it’s sex when I touch you, and not when you touch me? Why did this topic even turn into a sex topic? OMG…I’m so confused!!!

Hidden Unhappiness 

Today, I had an argument with my wife. We just bought a house and I wanted to buy a file to properly file all the document, but my wife insisted that I search the store room to find an old file, which might not even be there. 

My thinking was that the amount of time spent to search the store room for something that cost below $10 is just not worth it. I have brought this up a few times but my wife still thinks that it’s a waste to buy a new one. 

My wife’s thinking was that there are old files that can be used, and a new one will be a waste. 

Finally, today as we were about to go out to shop for some groceries, I brought it up again and said that we should by it on the way. Naturally, my wife insisted again. So, I went straight to the store room to dig out box by box, and finally managed to get the document box out. 

(We sorted things that are seldom used in different boxe’s and kept them in the store room, and because the document box are mainly books and notes, it is the heaviest box and is the most untouched box, so it was way back and under in the store room.)

I roughly checked the box and did not see any proper files, so I decided to bring the box out to the hall, where she was sitting on the sofa, to show my wife. As I was carrying the box out, feeling fustrated and tired, I did a bad move: I glared at my wife.

Instantly, her face changed…

I just glared for a moment, which in my mind I’m saying “I told you so. Why can’t you just let me buy a new one?”. I didn’t say it out of course, I just opened up the box and showed her. But it was just a blink of an eye too late.

From then on, it was history: I was wrong on every level in every way and only I had to say sorry, many times. 

Well, one thing’s for sure, I thank God for her in my life and I love u much. Hope the storms will never put me down, and never make me forget those beautiful sunny days.